I didn't have becoming a coach on my bingo card to be honest, but in 2020, I went through a life altering event, and nothing has quite been the same since. 

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I have always struggled with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in my adulthood. I'd been on anxiety and depression medication for 15 whole years! Having suffered some major traumas in my early years (the loss of a sibling, and my parents subsequent struggles with alcohol and domestic violence, among others) I became an increasingly anxious young adult. 

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My anxiety manifested as 'gut troubles' to put it quite mildly, and I lived a life of avoidance. I was always teetering on the edge of my next panic attack. Struggling with something so physical was exhausting. During my worst years, I would jump out of my skin at the sound of letters coming through the letter box. I really struggled with 'being seen,' both wanting desperately to be seen, and desperately wanting to be invisible. 

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I tried absolutely everything. 

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And trying things really has become one of my super powers! But having been through years and years of CBT, Counselling, Clinical Hypnotherapy, medications, Nutrition Therapy, Stress Management and many, many more, I was convinced I was truly unfixable. Everything worked for a little while. Until it didn't again, and I was back to square one. 

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In 2020, I found myself alone, in an attic flat, living through one of the most impactful times of our lives. In a new country (for a "dream job") I ran out of meds, couldn't sleep a wink for weeks, glued to the news. I couldn't take one more day on this earth. I truly felt I couldn't live even one more second. 

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Thank all the luck in the world, a local GP personally came to my flat, took me into her car and drove me to the local hospital - where I remained in crisis care for 5 days - and kickstarted the new rest of my life. I am still raw with emotion thinking about this moment.